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Counseling Victims to Freedom - Lesson 4

by Dr. Ray Self



  • Click play button to begin the video.
  • Follow along with the study notes below video window.
  • When you complete the video, click the "Chapter Assignment" button at the bottom of this page to begin your lesson assignment.

I. First Session

  1. Let the client talk first; get as much information as you can
  2. Ask a lot of leading questions
    1. Example: How did you get that bruise on your arm?
    2. Watch reactions, body language, expression, tone
  3. Arms folded, legs wrapped tight, head down, no eye contact; all of these indicate avoidance
    1. The client could be afraid, wondering what is going to happen
    2. Fear being discovered
    3. 3Fear being honest
  4. Crying too easily or trying to hold back are indicators of shame
  5. Keep notes, write down key things. God will reveal to you important facts
  6. Always offer encouragement so they will come back
  7. Give them prayers to take home
  8. Save your talking for the end
II. Second Session
  1. Let the client talk again
  2. Help them to stay focused, especially on themselves
  3. Offer more encouragement and more information
  4. You should start seeing some progress
  5. Find biblical principles and explain them to the counselee
  6. By this time the real issues should become more evident
  7. Help your client become more comfortable with talking and desiring help
  8. Start to teach boundary principles, such as self-definition and self-worth
  9. Affirm what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior
    1. Morality and the world is subjective
    2. Biblical morality is the true morality
  10. Always open and close with prayer
  11. Give a homework assignment (i.e. journaling, writing a letter to the abuser)
III. Third Session
  1. Open with prayer
  2. Discuss the homework
  3. Counseling tip: If you share your personal testimony keep it short and to the point to keep the focus off of yourself
  4. Reiterate that Jesus is the answer
  5. Know your outside resources if a referral is needed
  6. Leave the door open for further help
  7. Close with prayer
IV. In Conclusion
    1. Show a lot of love and unconditional acceptance
    2. Constantly affirm and support
    3. Know that the Holy Spirit will give you wisdom; “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5 NAS)
    4. Recognize God’s wisdom, “But wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere”(James 3:17)
    5. Know that the abnormal can become normal if it is experienced enough
    6. Many people do not know they are being abused because of the longevity of the attacks
    7. All truth must be presented in wisdom and love or damage can be the result
    8. Have faith. “With faith all things are possible”
    9. There has never been a problem that God does not have a solution for
      1. “For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man, which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 2:10-11)
      2. If the thoughts of God are revealed through the Spirit, then the responsibility of being led by the Spirit is vital

Study Questions:

  1. Why do you want to get as much information as you can when counseling a victim of abuse?
  2. Why is body language important in the counseling session?
  3. How does the Holy Spirit help in the counseling session?
  4. All you need to do is tell the victim the truth and they will be free. Yes, no, explain.

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