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I. First Session
Let the client talk first; get as much information as you can
Ask a lot of leading questions
Example: How did you get that bruise on your arm?
Watch reactions, body language, expression, tone
Arms folded, legs wrapped tight, head down, no eye contact; all of these indicate avoidance
The client could be afraid, wondering what is going to happen
Fear being discovered
3Fear being honest
Crying too easily or trying to hold back are indicators of shame
Keep notes, write down key things. God will reveal to you important facts
Always offer encouragement so they will come back
Give them prayers to take home
Save your talking for the end
II. Second Session
Let the client talk again
Help them to stay focused, especially on themselves
Offer more encouragement and more information
You should start seeing some progress
Find biblical principles and explain them to the counselee
By this time the real issues should become more evident
Help your client become more comfortable with talking and desiring help
Start to teach boundary principles, such as self-definition and self-worth
Affirm what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior
Morality and the world is subjective
Biblical morality is the true morality
Always open and close with prayer
Give a homework assignment (i.e. journaling, writing a letter to the abuser)
III. Third Session
Open with prayer
Discuss the homework
Counseling tip: If you share your personal testimony keep it short and to the point to keep the focus off of yourself
Reiterate that Jesus is the answer
Know your outside resources if a referral is needed
Leave the door open for further help
Close with prayer
IV. In Conclusion
Show a lot of love and unconditional acceptance
Constantly affirm and support
Know that the Holy Spirit will give you wisdom; “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5 NAS)
Recognize God’s wisdom, “But wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere”(James 3:17)
Know that the abnormal can become normal if it is experienced enough
Many people do not know they are being abused because of the longevity of the attacks
All truth must be presented in wisdom and love or damage can be the result
Have faith. “With faith all things are possible”
There has never been a problem that God does not have a solution for
“For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man, which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 2:10-11)
If the thoughts of God are revealed through the Spirit, then the responsibility of being led by the Spirit is vital
Study Questions:
Why do you want to get as much information as you can when counseling a victim of abuse?
Why is body language important in the counseling session?
How does the Holy Spirit help in the counseling session?
All you need to do is tell the victim the truth and they will be free. Yes, no, explain.
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