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Effective Communication & Conflict Resolution

Lesson 02

by Dr. Ray Self



Listen and Make Your Self Known

Click the play button to begin video lesson and follow along with the class notes below the video window. When you complete this video, click the "Lesson Assignment" button at the bottom of this page to open the lesson assignment.

Php 2:3 -4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Every person is valuable to God.

Your thoughts and words are valuable and matter.

Other people's thoughts and words are essential and matter.

A good listener has two advantages.

  1. He will gain knowledge from the speaker.
  2. He will still have his knowledge.

A mature adult learns how to value his opinion and at the same time give value to other people's ideas.

You do not need to agree with someone to respect them.

Listening Well

The most effective communicators and well-liked people are great listeners.

Effective Listening

  • Make eye contact (if possible)
  • Lean in (if possible)
  • Focus on what is being said
  • Be curious
  • Limit interruptions
  • Ask clarifying questions
  • Process what is heard
  • Put yourself in their shoes
  • Repeat back
  • Be aware of filtering issues

Filtering is distorted hearing because of past experiences and trauma. Thus, what is said is twisted to conform to a previously held belief.

A Poor Listener Will:
  • Not hear what is said because they are busy formulating what they want to say
  • Pass judgment without knowing all of the facts
  • Interrupt before the speaker finishes
  • Seek to show the speaker that they are wrong
  • Not validate the speaker
  • Give no worth to the other's words
  • Act distracted

Keys to Effective Communication
  • Nonverbal skills – body language, eye contact
  • Excitement – if you are enthused about your subject, you will engage your audience.
  • Clarity – are you clearly expressing your main point?
  • Empathy – care about the feelings of the listener
  • Sincerity – be yourself. No acting or masks allowed
  • Appropriate tone – a soft tone is disarming; a harsh tone will cause the listener to be on the defense.
  • Humor –breaks the ice and causes your audience to relax
  • Humility – it is required if you want the Holy Spirit to help you
  • Timing – it really is everything
  • Understand your audience – age, maturity, experience, familiarity etc.

International College of Ministry

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