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Where there is unresolved pain in your life the mind will look for something to cover that pain.
Examples of wounds that could be unresolved:
You think you are ugly.
You grew up poor or in lack.
Your mother died.
Your father said you would never amount to anything.
Your peers persecuted you.
Your spouse divorced you.
You business failed.
You were cut from a team.
You were abused sexually or physically.
You were ignored or devalued.
You were abandoned or left alone.
You were falsely accused.
...And the list could go on and on.
Things that are typically used as cover-ups are: Drugs, alcohol, sex, food, religion, shopping, fantasies, controlling others, over work or business.
Unresolved pain from childhood can cause serious behavioral problems such as:
A man who was denied affirmation from his father may become a homosexual in order to fill that missing void.
A man hurt by his mother may seek to find that fulfillment with other women and may become promiscuous.
A person who was ignored may have low self-esteem.
A past failure could cause a defeated attitude.
Our mind cannot heal, pain so it tries to help us cope with it through various methods.
Dealing with outward behaviors does not bring healing to the place where the problem is; the heart.
The source of intense emotional pain is the root cause of emotional and behavioral problems.
Within the heart you will find the root causes of pain and its effects. Mark 7:21-23 - For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.
God brings healing to the issues by healing the heart.
John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
Ephesians 1:18 - I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.
Hebrews 4:12 - For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
1 John 3:19-20 - We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things.
Psalm 10:17 - O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear.
Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:17 - The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.
We need to learn how to bring the root issues to the foot of the cross and surrender them to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 – Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
By faith we bring our hurts and wounds to the cross of Jesus. We can make a conscious choice to surrender our pain to Christ.
The healing process:
Repent of agreeing with Satan and the lies that he added to the pain.
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