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Lesson 6

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Lesson 6

Emotional pain can be just as crippling as physical pain. Both can be related and have influences on each other.

Emotional pain from memories can handicap us from performing and achieving the purpose for which we were created.

Getting healed from pain always means being delivered from the source of the pain.

A memory that is negative can cause negative belief s, which causes pain.

Remember to replace the lies with the truth.

Telling yourself what not to do is just not as effective as telling yourself what to do.

John 8:32 - And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. Focusing on the lies has never set anyone free.

Proverbs 3:3 - Let not mercy and truth forsake thee; bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart.

Replace negative feelings with positive thoughts. Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Self-Esteem

Trauma or abuse or anything that affects the mind can affect self-esteem and identity at a very deep level. The subconscious mind rarely forgets anything. Lies deep within the heart can be triggered by painful memories and cause us to react with strange, exaggerated behaviors. The distorted self-esteem feeds the lies of the memories. Knowing who we are and allowing God to implant that truth in us is foundational to all the other issues in life. Our identity is our foundation. Proverbs 23:7 - For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:

Romans 8:15-17 - For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

Abba, Father – in the Greek these words mean, “Father, parent.”

Healing the Heart

The working of the Holy Spirit causes the heart with all of its painful emotions to be healed.

God is more interested in the heart than He is in behavior, because from the heart is the root of all behavioral problems.

Surrendering our heart to the Holy Spirit is our personal responsibility.

Making a change in our heart is God’s responsibility.

We have a part in maintaining what God has accomplished in our heart. Proverbs 4:23 - Keep thy heart with all diligence; f or out of it are the issues of life.

Three Foundations to Wholeness

The condition of our heart affects our body, soul and spirit:

• Proverbs 14:30 - A sound heart is the life of the flesh. (body)
• Proverbs 15:13 - A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. (spirit)
• Proverbs 15:15b - He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. (soul)
• Proverbs 17:22 - A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. (body)

1 Thessalonians 5:23 - And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and bodybe preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

• Spirit – This is born of our relationship with God, knowing at a deep level that He is our Father and that He loves and accepts us as His son or daughter.
• Soul – Our personal identity – Knowing who we are in Christ at a deep level.
• Body – Purpose – Our vehicle for living our purpose, not distorted or twisted because of injury.

A Healing Prayer for Past Hurts

Lord Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, go back into my past memory today. There have been a number of years that things have hurt me and troubled my heart and soul. I surrender that pain to you now. Every hurt that has ever been done to me in my body or my emotions, please heal those hurts.

Every hurt that I have knowingly or unknowingly caused to another person, bring healing to that hurt too. I also ask to be forgiven of the sins and wrongs that I have done. Help me to remember them so that I may ask for healing to take place.

Please Lord; give me strength to look at those memories with courage. Lord, if there is anything that I need to do, show me. If I need to go to another person because they are still suffering from my part, let me become aware of that person in my memory. As I do remember, help me to be humble and ask for forgiveness. I choose to "forgive" the hurts that were done to me. My tongue will say that I forgive and make my mind and heart come into line with Your Word.

Please remove whatever bitterness and unforgiveness may still be in my heart, Lord. I don't need to walk around with that in my life. Fill me with your love and peace. Let me see my brothers and sisters through Your eyes Jesus, not mine. Let me look at everyone with all of the love that I can.

Help me to put a guard over my mouth everyday, so that I may always glorify You. Let me be a true Christian witness of Your love in me. Please help me to bring about healing in the hearts of all that I see throughout my days. I love You so much Lord and I am grateful to You because You love me. You make me feel special and at peace. Thank you Lord.

In the name of Jesus I pray.

Amen

 

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Lesson 4

Click the play button to begin video lesson and follow along with the class notes below the video window. When you complete this video, click the "Lesson Assignment" button at the bottom of this page to open the lesson assignment.

Lesson 4

Where there is unresolved pain in your life the mind will look for something to cover that pain.

Examples of wounds that could be unresolved:

• You think you are ugly.
• You grew up poor or in lack.
• Your mother died.
• Your father said you would never amount to anything.
• Your peers persecuted you.
• Your spouse divorced you.
• You business failed.
• You were cut from a team.
• You were abused sexually or physically.
• You were ignored or devalued.
• You were abandoned or left alone.
• You were falsely accused.

...And the list could go on and on.

Things that are typically used as cover-ups are: Drugs, alcohol, sex, food, religion, shopping, fantasies, controlling others, over work or business.

Unresolved pain from childhood can cause serious behavioral problems such as:

• A man who was denied affirmation from his father may become a homosexual in order to fill that missing void.
• A man hurt by his mother may seek to find that fulfillment with other women and may become promiscuous.
• A person who was ignored may have low self-esteem.
• A past failure could cause a defeated attitude.

Our mind cannot heal, pain so it tries to help us cope with it through various methods.

Dealing with outward behaviors does not bring healing to the place where the problem is; the heart.

The source of intense emotional pain is the root cause of emotional and behavioral problems.

Within the heart you will find the root causes of pain and its effects. Mark 7:21-23 - For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.

God brings healing to the issues by healing the heart.

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

Ephesians 1:18 - I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.

Hebrews 4:12 - For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

1 John 3:19-20 - We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things.

Psalm 10:17 - O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear.

Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51:17 - The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

We need to learn how to bring the root issues to the foot of the cross and surrender them to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 – Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

By faith we bring our hurts and wounds to the cross of Jesus. We can make a conscious choice to surrender our pain to Christ.

The healing process:

• Repent of agreeing with Satan and the lies that he added to the pain.
• Repent of your own ungodly reactions.
• Forgive those that hurt you.
• Forgive yourself for your reactions.
• Surrender the pain.
• Receive and believe that you are healed.

 

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Lesson 5

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Lesson 5

Why do people have flashbacks?

The answer has to do with the way the brain treats traumatic memory differently from non-traumatic memory. Simply the brain is about order and process. Everyday non-traumatic memory is stored in an orderly fashion. Traumatic memory is stored in an un-orderly process for protection of the victim. The brain is not attempting to present pain when it brings traumatic memory back to consciousness instead it wants the unprocessed traumatic memory to be processed, the emotions closed, and the memory then to be filed in the normal way in long-term storage. Flashbacks are the brain's way of seeking order, even though it does not feel that way to the recipient.

If you are searching for a sense of closure from intruding recollections of abusive or traumatic life events, I encourage you to look no further than inside yourself. Understand that your brain is searching for order. Help it reach its objective by not shying away from the process. The storing of abusive or traumatic memories in an obscured location was God's gift of protection, so say "Thank you" and move forward toward health. The irony of the process is that your brain brings back unfinished recollections, not to hurt you, but instead to complete what was not done at the time of the overwhelming life event.

-Above by Dr. William Tollefson

How do we recover from memories that are still affecting us?

We cannot excuse our bad behavior because of past wounds. Forgiveness from God requires no excuses. It is important to take responsibility for our own personal reactions. The hurt may not have been because of anything that we did, but ungodly reactions can come as a result. No one is completely sin free so receiving forgiveness is a responsibility for each individual.

1 John 1:8-9 - If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness

We can have a valid reason for our behavior or for the pain in our heart, but the forgiveness of God comes with confession.

The three elements of all personal healing are mercy, truth and time

Mercy is the first element

Mercy is necessary because it is a judgment free zone.

Mercy does not assume, label, or judge. Mercy allows us to accept ourselves as we are without the added pain of personal condemnation or judgment.

Judgment is when we label ourselves outside of the judgment of God.

God has already judged us through Christ Jesus and has given us righteousness. This is the wonderful judgment of God for everyone who has been born again.

Romans 5:17 - For if by the transgression of the one, death reigned through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:21 - He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

Personal judgments cause more pain to come with painful memories.

It is important to search your hearts to see if we have judged ourselves in unscriptural ways because of past circumstances.

Examples of personal judgments can be things like – I am unlovable, I do not measure up, I am a failure, I am unworthy, I am shameful, I am guilty, I am ugly, I am not smart, I am not desirable, I am not acceptable, etc.

Every one of the above mentioned judgments can easily come from unresolved pain.

Personal judgment causes pain to turn into suffering. Letting go of judgment of ourselves allows us to heal much more easily.

Personal judgment hurts self-esteem. When we have suffered trauma or abuse or anything that affects our minds it can affect our self-esteem and identity at a very deep level. The subconscious mind rarely forgets anything.

Painful memories can manifest in strange behaviors. The distorted self-esteem feeds the lies of the memories.

Knowing the truth of the word of God is the second element of healing.

Knowing who we are and allowing God to implant that truth in us is foundational to all the other issues in life.

As counselors we should be able to speak and impart truth to the counselee; remember all truth requires time and mercy.

Truth without mercy and time can turn into legalism.

Our identity is our foundation. Proverbs 23:7 - For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.

The third element of personal healing is time.

Luke 13:6 -9 - And He began telling this parable: "A man had a fig tree which had been planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and did not find any. "And he said to the vineyard-keeper, 'Behold, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?' "And he answered and said to him, 'Let it alone, sir, for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer; and if it bears fruit next year, fine; but if not, cut it down.'

The parable teaches us that the fruit tree needed more time. God gives us time to bear fruit.

God tends to work progressively with healing.

It takes time to grow. Growing through time is a universal principle of God.

God’s timing for healing can be very short or very long in our own personal terms.

My personal experience has taught me, the quicker I surrender my pain to God, the sooner my healing comes.

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Destructive and Healthy Emotions

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Destructive and Healthy Emotions

Isaiah 54:4 - Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more

Notice that the Lord first brings up the past (shame and reproach).

It sounds like an oxymoron but in order to forget sometimes we must be reminded.

Isaiah tells us prophetically that shame and reproach are healed by the Lord, which causes His people to be able to forget.

Forgetting means to have memories. but to be healed of the harmful emotions associated with those memories.

We can remember events and that is simply the reality of our past. It is the emotions from the past (that are triggered typically by believed lies) that can be healed.


Satanic Influence

What Satan does so well is to add painful emotions to events.

When Satan stirs up harmful emotions they will always be based on a lie.

Fighting the lie by replacing it with the truth is an important key to healing.

These harmful emotions include feelings like guilt, condemnation, shame, rejection, and unworthiness.

Painful events of the past can create faulty belief systems that cause the harmful emotions.

• Distorted thinking (any thinking not in line with the truth of Scripture) can cause destructive emotions.
• Destructive emotions can have negative effects on a person’s present life.
• These emotions can create blocks that stop a person from the abundance that God has promised.

Emotions can be very powerful motivators.

• Many choices in life can be made through emotional thinking.
• Emotional thinking can cloud God’s truth and wisdom.
• Emotional thinking can have severe consequences, especially when the emotions have come through wounds of the past.
• Negative emotions can motivate us to do and say destructive things.

God has given us emotions. They can be amazingly positive and can motivate us to do wonderful things.

Emotions can be good when they are triggered by truth.

The Gospel has a divine order – facts of the Gospel, faith in the facts, and then an emotional response can be natural and good.

• Facts must be true.
• Faith must be based on true facts.
• Emotions celebrate the truth.

Past, Present, and Future


The good news is that God has an answer to our past, our present and our future. Revelation 1:8 - "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty."

The Lord is the beginning and the end. He is with us in our past, our present, and our future.

In looking at our past we can also find the Lord - Hebrews 13:8 - Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

David was reminded of his past before he defeated Goliath - 1 Samuel 17:37 - David said, “Moreover, The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine.” And Saul said unto David, “Go, and the Lord be with thee.”

Dr. Cecil Osborne said, “Feelings do not age.” If our feelings do not age then we can still find the healing that will change our feelings.

Psalms 44:21 - Shall not God search this out? For he knoweth the secrets of the heart.

Carefully notice in the above verse that it is God who is doing the searching. The Lord is always available to help us find the problems and find the answers.

 

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