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I. Addictions and Life Controlling Issues
The addictive cycle
Inner pain, unresolved painful issues, denial
Desire to escape or not to feel
Medication administered such as drugs, alcohol, etc.
Guilt and shame
More pain, new problems
More medication
The cycle continues to repeat and worsen
Problems without intervention will get worse
Chemical addictions are progressive
The progression of the disease is like cancer - some people will progress rapidly, some slowly, but all people will get worse without help
A chemical addiction can easily be a fatal disease
Hitting bottom
Bottom is the place that most chemically addicted people will eventually end up
Bottom can be described as a terrible place of great loss
These loses can be bankruptcy, divorce, loss of home, family, job and all self-worth
Consequences of addictive behavior are fully realized
Bottom is the place wherein most chemically addicted people are most likely to cry out for help
Denial
Denial is an unwillingness to face reality and admit the truth
Denial is living a lie
Denial can be a hard place to get away from because the mind is using denial as a defense to avoid the pain of reality
Denial can also invade the addicts family and friends
Denial in itself can be a deadly disease
Without an acknowledgement of the problem it will be difficult to help the individual – not impossible, because of the Lord, but very difficult
John 8:32 - And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free
Christian counseling is always about bring the truth into every situation
The root of an addiction’s problem is almost always unresolved pain
Painful experiences enter the subconscious and remain there and fester like cancer until they are rooted out
The addictions must be dealt with but remember they are only a cover-up for deeper problems
Counselors will deal with two types of pain found in the addict
There is the beginning pain that started the addiction and there is the new pain that the addiction has caused
With addictions always come much shame and guilt
Shame and guilt must be resolved or the pain will never leave and the craving to medicate will also stay
1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Isaiah 54:4 - Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth
The family
The family can suffer as much as the handicapped member
The person with the addiction becomes the center of attention
The family becomes so focused on trying to solve their problems with the addicted person that they can totally neglect the needs of all the other family members
The family will try desperately to fix the addicted person
They cannot fix the person
The family must get the focus back on themselves or they will drown
Two people drowning are of no benefit to each other
The family must learn how to, “Let go and let God”
Only God can save a person from himself or herself
Enabling is the removing of responsibility or natural consequences
A prophecy about the New Covenant – Jeremiah 31:29-30 - In those days they shall say no more, “ The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge.” But every one shall die for his own iniquity: every man that eateth the sour grapes, his teeth shall be set on edge.
God holds each one of us personally responsible for our own sins; we are not responsible for another person’s sin. If we take response-bility for another’s sins then we can stand in the way of their forgive-ness
Enabling can feel like love but actually it is very harmful
The family will need as much counseling as the addicted member
Many families will be in denial that they themselves have a problem
Anyone constantly exposed to the terrible behavior of an addicted person will be adversely affected
The problems are deep and complex and are not automatically solved once the drinking, drug taking, etc. stops
A person may not be responsible for the addiction but he can be responsible to do something about it. There are many resources available for anyone who truly wants help.
Study Questions:
What usually causes the addictive cycle to start?
Explain what is meant by the term “hitting bottom.”
What is denial and why is it a problem?
Explain the two types of pain usually found in an addicted person.
Counseling Victims to Freedom - Lesson 2
by Dr. Ray Self
Instructions
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When you complete the video, click the "Chapter Assignment" button at the bottom of this page to begin your lesson assignment.
The Basics
Three elements of counseling:
There is a problem
Problems can be solved by verbal means
Change the problem that is hurting the counselee
Reconciliation with God through Christ is absolutely essential before any problem can be solved.
The counselor must be a trained evangelist understanding the ministry and biblical principles of reconciliation.
Ephesians 2:8 - For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.
The basics for the counselee to understand:
Salvation comes by God’s grace
The avenue for it to come is faith in the finished work of Christ
It cannot be achieved by human effort
It is a free gift
Understanding and acting on these principles will bring reconciliation with God.
All answers to all problems will ultimately be found in Christ. John 15:5 - I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. Nothing that matters with God can be accomplished without Christ. We cannot help the hurting without Christ.
John 15:7 - If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. This scripture actually gives an answer to all problems. If the principles and teachings of Christ are adhered to we can ask God for any answer to any problem and He will provide it. John 16:13 – Howbeit when He, the Spirit of truth, is come, He will guide you into all truth: for He shall not speak of Himself; but whatsoever He shall hear, that shall He speak: and He will shew you things to come.
What a counselor is:
A servant
A person who cares for the hurting
A person motivated by love
A person who is led by the Spirit of God
A person who has natural and God-given wisdom
A person who is faithful and committed
A person under authority
A person who is trained and equipped
What a counselor is not:
A person who wants to fix other people
A person who is controlling or dominating
A person who cannot keep a secret
A person who is easily shocked
A person who is uneducated in Christian counseling
A person who is unfamiliar with the Bible
Counselors must know their capabilities and limitations:
Competence boundaries
Know what you know and know what you do not know
Pride will get in the way and add to hurt when a counselor does not want to admit that he does not know the answer
Humble yourself when you do not know the answer and simply refer your client to someone who knows
All counselors must know the limit of themselves in several areas:
Time limits
Physical limits
Spiritual limits
Financial limits
God has a balance for all counselors. Not adhering to personal limitations can cause a myriad of problems. It is not God’s will for counselors to get out of balance and “burn out.”
Matthew 11:28-30 - Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Counseling is a vital service to the body of Christ. Counselor’s are ministers of God’s truth and have been given an anointing to “set the captives free.” God puts a lot of responsibility upon the counselor but He never forsakes them.
Study Questions:
Why is it important for the counselee to understand salvation by grace?
Why is a counselor a servant?
Explain what is meant by a competence boundary.
Explain spiritual limitations
Counseling Victims to Freedom - Lesson 1
by Dr. Ray Self
Instructions
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Follow along with the study notes below video window.
When you complete the video, click the "Chapter Assignment" button at the bottom of this page to begin your lesson assignment.
Introduction – Know the Root Cause
Proverbs1:29-33 - Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord, would have none of my counsel, and despised all my reproof, therefore they shall eat the fruit of their way and be sated with their own devices. For the simple are killed by their turning away, and the complacence of fools destroys them; but he who listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of evil.
Romans 15:14 - And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge,able also to admonish (counsel) one another.
The Holy Spirit is sovereign, the Holy Spirit works through means, and those means are the Word of God. This forms the foundation of Adams' argument that Christians are "competent to counsel". Jay Adams
Course principle - Obedience to the unfailing principles of the word of God will bring about change.
Sin, Disease and Mental Illness
James 5:14.-16 - Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Are we venting feelings when we should be confessing sin?
Talking about and expressing our emotions is healthy but that is not confession
True godly confession never includes self-justification
Self-justification will exclude God’s justification
Guilt and shame which are normally caused by sin are like a cancer. Christian counselors have an answer for guilt and shame that secular counselors do not.
There is a strong relationship between sin and disease, including mental illness.
Psalms 38:3 - There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of my sin.
God’s forgiveness brings healing.
Psalms 103:3 - Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases?
John 5:14 - Afterward Jesus findeth him in the temple, and said unto him, Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.
In the above scripture Jesus clearly deals with sin in relationship to healing.
God requires ownership not excuses.
We are responsible for our behavior. Taking responsibility is the first step to healing. Jeremiah 31:29-31 - In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a sour grape, and the children's teeth are set on edge. But every one shall die for his own iniquity: every man that eateth the sour grape, his teeth shall be set on edge. Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah:
God requires us to take ownership of our actions regardless of the cause
Taking responsibility for our self, and not others is a key to freedom
The promise from scripture is that each one will die for his own personal sin. Praise God that Jesus dies that death for us. That is the central message of the gospel.
1 John 1:8-10 - If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
In 1 John 1, God describes a three part remedy for sin and its effects: confess, receive forgiveness, be cleansed.
Cleansing is the final answer. Cleansing removes sin and its effects completely.
God requires confession because of His love for us and His desire to see us made whole.
Psalms 32:5 - I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
Psalms 38:18 - For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin
Confession requires heartfelt honesty
Confession sometimes requires courage
Confession requires humility
Confession leads to healing and peace
Confession leads to blessing
Psalms 32:1 - Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
Study Questions:
What is our course principle and why does it work?
Christian counselors have an answer for the problems of guilt and shame. What is the answer? Explain.
Why does God’s forgiveness bring healing?
How does taking responsibility for personal actions and sin bring freedom?
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